The Paradise of Sorrows

pussy is the greatest pimp



Money, status, resources, and fame are the  male equivalent of lips, hips, thighs, ass and titties. Their mere presence in the room is enough to arouse hypergamous swelling of lubricious lady pearls and stimulate the pimp instincts of the greatest Mack to ever send a Ho to the track…PU$$Y.



The fact that hypergamy (1) remains an integral part of the mate selection process for many women well into the twenty-first century says a lot about the tumultuous state of gender relations in the wake of feminism’s three waves.

Women place a high value on a man’s economic means and social status no matter how self-reliant and economically independent they may be.  Men are viewed on some level as utilitarian success objects to be exploited on an as needed basis.


Power is the greatest aphrodisiac“-Henry Kissinger


Power and prestige trump physical drawbacks and personality deficits. Obesity, stupidity, ugliness, narcissism and sociopathic tendencies are tolerable in direct proportion to how much money is attached to them.  Who a man is means less than what he can do for a woman.

It is a given that within a Matriarchal culture like Black America  hypergamy  would be overtly championed as the preferred relationship dynamic. This is due in large part to the harsh economic conditions most black people live under.  The value placed on a man’s “ass and titties” (status and resources) is quite high.

Bear in mind that our entire relationship paradigm takes place within within the white supremacist social structure which negatively impacts every aspect of black life, especially gender relations.



“Make that nigga take care of yo’ kids/ make that nigga call yo’ kids his/ make that nigga get out there and work/ make that nigga buy you a Dooney and Burke/ it’s all about that nigga take care of me/ pussy whipped nigga come save me” – E40 , Captain Save-A-Ho

can you pay my bills?/ can you pay my telephone bills?/ do you pay my auto mo bills?/ if you did then maybe we could chill/ I don’t think you do, so you and me are through” – Destiny’s Child, Bills



A mythical gilded path of least resistance leading to a promised land of ease, luxury, and leisure has many a THOT(5) clicking the heels of her indoor swapmeet red bottoms 3 times and wishing for a short cut to a sure shot.


The idea of never having to struggle again in this life is irresistable to a chick who ain’t never had shit , especially one raised to view men as natural resources to be exploited.

At the polar opposite end of the spectrum lie the great majority of men programmed from a young age to believe that the only metrics of manhood are social position, wealth and power.

Without them you are not a man.

You get no female attention , no respect and  no love.

So get out there and do whatever it takes.

Who teaches us that ?

The PU$$Y.




Invariably these misguided souls meet in the mating market place where youth, beauty, and sexual access are exchanged for money, status and control of resources.

Unfortunately, love rarely enters this transaction but children often do, usually as part of some poorly thought out ratchet scheme.



Once these kids have out lived their usefulness you can find them filling the beds of group homes and seats in special ed. classes until they are old enough to press rewind and repeat the cycle.




The comfortable snare of the female predator is laid deep within the male subconscious mind where female acceptance and validation are associated with mother love. Bundle this with an unexamined belief that beauty equals goodness then wrap it all up with a moist pink ribbon of sexual gratification and VOILA!!!

Even the laziest man eater can feast on a steady diet of doctors, lawyers and Indian chiefs who place no real value upon themselves beyond what’s assigned to them by the second sex.

The sad thing here is many of these men can be counted among the supremely talented, rich and famous. In black culture such men are usually entertainers and athletes. These are the brothers with plenty of male “ass and titties”.The ones who seemingly go out of their way to get caught up with pole twerking box hustlers whose primary talents are sexual.



Back then hoes didn’t want me/ now I’m hot/ Hoes all on me”– Mike Jones,  Back Then

celebrity culture plunges us into a moral void-no one has any worth beyond his or her appearance, usefulness, or ability to succeed. The highest achievements in celebrity culture are wealth, sexual conquest and fame. It does not matter how these are obtained…once fame and wealth are achieved they become their own justification, their own morality. How one gets them is irrelevant. Once you get there  those questions are no longer valid.”- Chris Hedges, Empire Of Illusion. pgs.32-33




Instead of living for, in and with yourself as a reasonable person ought, you seek only to fasten your feebleness on some other person’s strength“- Charlotte Bronte ,  Jane Eyre ,Ch. 21

Today social media and reality television have spawned a new breed of cunning, avaricious, super ratchet who will stop at nothing and use anyone to achieve the synthetic fame one gets for fucking someone well known.

Meet the Status Hacker.

Say hi to The Basketball Wives, The women of Love and Hip Hop, Super head, Kat Stacks, V. Stiviano , and the mother goddess of all these ho’s, Kim Kardashian.



The PU$$Y starts pimping the moment the tell all book is published, sex tape is leaked or TMZ plays the secret recordings. Next up , the Oprah interview , Playboy spread,  a reality show and ideally marriage to a high dollar baller.




If a ring ain’t in the works , then the “annuity” baby plan is put into effect by the coldest pimp in the game….. The Mother Pimp. 

“as far as female pimps are concerned , the mother pimp is the boss. she has been there and back; she has all the answers because she has been asked all the questions.”- The Pimps Bible, pg.110




The black blogosphere and Twitterverse stays bubbling like a pot of fermenting  Chitlins’ with stories about high profile black entertainers/athletes putting babies in their side pieces/jump offs/ backup ratchets.

Back in the day an “outside woman” making a pregnancy power move took the pay off and stayed low key. Just ask Bill CosbyDr. J, Joe Jackson and a million other old school players who kept their bid’ness out the street, but that was waaaay before the advent of the internet.


The “clean up” women are no longer content to stand in the shadows of stardom and abide by the side piece code of conduct. The media has created a lane for them pursue their own bastardized form of fame which they often decide to augment with the conception of a bastard child or two.

In the new millinium , if you are a famous man of  means and you pump a pearl necklace into a side chick’s safe deposit box, then prepare to break yourself and check in with your new pimp.

 trick ass nigga.

Lets take a brief tour of the side piece/ mother pimp hall of fame:




Evelyn Lozada– This” juice box  vendor”  is a locker room  legend  in  the  NBA, NFL  and MLB. Prior to  her  destruction of  Chad “ochocinco” Johnson’s pro football career by means of dubious abuse claims, “la panocha peligroso” Lozada latched onto former NBA 100 million dollar dunce Antoine Walker’s wallet for a ten year run.

According to Walker his decade long access to her vagina cost him dearly. Now near penniless “…admits he easily spent a couple of million dollars on his ex-fiancé and  even her family benefitted from his generosity , but when he fell on hard times financially he accuses her of bouncing on him and  never looking back…My thing with Evelyn is she reaped a lot of benefits of my wealth. And when it got tight she chose to go in a different direction. It’s tough when you take care of some people and you make sure they are good, their family, their daughter, and they just go left field.” (2)

Recently, she’s clamped her vaginal vortex of ruin onto the bank account of Pro baseball player Carl Crawford . This  Simple Simon  just signed a 149 million dollar pro contract that will pay him  an estimated 20 million dollars a year.

To secure her un-earned portion of this future homeless hall of famer’s millions, the shrewd Ms. Lozada put on her mother pimp hat, stuffed a catchers mitt  up into her cervix and caught every single sperm this short bus slugger grand slammed into her money hole.

At 38 years old She stole home base with a new born multimillion dollar baby.

Maybe Mr. Crawford should have talked to Antoine walker or Chad Johnson before fouling out with this long legged losing streak.



Aja Metoyer – Aja Metoyer is a well known groupie with her pimp hand deep inside Damon Wayans Jr.’s pocket courtesy of the  two daughter’s she squatted out for him.  However, as every good pimp knows you got to have more than one ho in your stable otherwise you ain’t really pimpin’, so Aja got out there on the track and pulled her a NBA thoroughbred , none  other than Dwayne Wade.

Not content with merely swiping some super star semen from a hollow headed dullard with effete fashion tastes,  she left her dirty panties where they could be found by penning a public letter to Mr. Wade’s fiancé Gabrielle Union :

I’d like to thank Dwayne Wade for always making me feel comfortable on your side of the bed. Hiding pictures in your drawer, you know the night stand next to your side of the bed, the one with two drawers. I think the picture is the one with you and Sanaa Lathan in it…also you are a little too old to be making Valentines Day photo albums, Leave that to the young girls your man cheats on you with. FYI your man likes fat asses you might need to get you one. Last but not least, I will send you a picture of the bags your man left in the hotel room I fucked him in lol”(3)

….I bet she’s a great mom and a fine role model for her two daughters and new born son with Dwayne wade ( go get your kids NOW Damon and Dwayne).

Oh, and did y’all know she comes from a family of seasoned mother pimps ?

dass riiight!!!

cristen metoyer

her sister Cristen Metoyer has a baby by NBA baller Joe Crawford.




Brynn Cameron- Y’all know wasn’t no way in hell these crafty ass white women were gonna let these non- white chicks do all this mother pimping without getting some of that post partum cash too.

Meet Brynn Cameron, a blonde, blue-eyed mother pimp of the highest order with very discriminating taste in pro nut sauce. She has one son by Heisman trophy winner and NFL washout Matt Lineart , who kicks in a princely sum of 189, 000!! a year in child support.


Clearly not one to be slackin in her mackin’, Pimpin’ Brynn is airtight with her game  and recognizes,  like  Aja “moneybags” Metoyer, that a  real pimp needs more than one ho.  So she Milked a few ounces of Blake Griffin into her penis flytrap and gave birth to a healthy seven pound child support check to go along with Matts dwindling cash. See his career is floundering and she needed some long term security  scrilla cuz ho money ain’t sho money.



Vanessa Lopez- This c-list Va Jay Jay merchant has been slinging her high mileage pastrami tunnel to those with big incomes and small I.Q’s for longer than most NBA players careers.  She is probably best known for her lawsuit against  the seven foot one World Champion super trick Shaquille O’neal. Her lawsuit charged the towering lummox with racketeering , invasion of privacy, and intentional infliction of emotional distress.

Even though this all star dick rider lost her court case she delivered some decisive blows to the dense behemoth’s public persona in her deposition:

When asked if Shaq had any sexual hang ups Vanessa said :

‘he would often put his hands over his private area and say “I know it’s small , don’t laugh”. And he was just a little embarrassed about that…when he would call and want to get together when I had my period  Shaq would say “I don’t care” and when we would see each other he had like a fetish that he’d just like to give me oral sex during my period” (4).

Ah , well I guess Shaq likes red sauce on his  fish tacos….

Ms. Lopez only other note worthy accomplishment is signing a  $25,000 abortion contract with NBA player J.J. Reddick. Now that’s some cold mother pimping right there, getting money for your dead baby.



Pimpin’ ain’t easy.




Now lets take a look at the stuffed and mounted heads housed in the Trick Ass Nigga Museum of Natural Stupidity


Dwight Howard Rockets Troll

Dwight Howard-  8 kids in six years , 6 mother pimps . This is the perfect physical specimen of a big , dumb ass muh fucka. He is a mother pimps wet dream and most certainly a  future candidate for the Antoine Walker Nigga Who Used To Be Rich award.


Shawn Kemp- 11 kids, 9 mother pimps. In the words of the patron saint of all dope fiends, his ‘highness’  Rick James , cocaine is a “helluva drug”.


Scott Skiles- 8 kidsseven mother pimps. Ol’ Scotty here is upholding the fine NBA tradition of marginal former white players winding up as head coaches. The talented Mr. Skiles was competitive with the brothers on and off the court busting out 8 kids with seven different women who were not his wife.


Calvin Murphy- 14 kids , 9 mother pimps .     Let me start by saying  what…a…fucking…bastard.  Where do I begin with this nigga ? ( besides that African Mack Daddy Easter suit).

Here are the highlights;

  • Had a secret family containing 5 of his 14 daughters which he kept hidden for 20 years.
  • Pressured the children who didn’t belong to him and his wife to not call him dad so he could preserve his public image as a family man.
  •  4 of the 5 Daughters in his secret family  accused him of molesting them. He was aquitted of all charges.
  • Claimed his secret baby mama’s retirement benefits after she had passed away.

In fairness to this pint sized piece of rotting foreskin , the molestation charges were brought after he refused to turn over his baby mama’s retirement checks to their five daughters….but still, this nigga is waaaaay out of pocket.



Evander “Real Deal” Holyfield –  11 kids9 mother pimps.  The Five time World Heavy Weight Champion got knocked the fuck out by the little contender below his belt after going raw  for 9 bouts resulting 11 TKO’S.

$500,000.00 in back child support and 250 million  down the drain had Evander still boxing at 50.

Hopefully he is punch drunk enough to forget how fucked his life turned out.




If your head is hurting by now its because the plug that connects you to the Hypergamy matrix has Been yanked.  Most of you cats will realize this , panic and rush to reconnect with your last pimp.  I’m not mad at y’all because you don’t know any better.

Men that  have been raised by mothers who manipulated them by extending acceptance and love on a conditional basis are susceptible to being played by women with ulterior motives.

Your minds have been shaped from birth to crave female approval and reassurance which subconsciously  gives you a sense of belonging , of being accepted,  of being loved , of feeling secure within yourself.

The deep irony of this is that it locates a man’s sense of who he is outside of himself and places it within the snug, moist confines of the greatest pimp of all time.


The  male sex drive is not only biological force, It is also an intense desire to connect emotionally, spiritually and psychologically. As men often we don’t realize this because the physical hunger overshadows everything else.


Gentlemen, you’re looking in the wrong place for the right things.


A con man’s greatest weapon is the mark’s own greed and this same principle enables the PU$$Y to have a man  blissfully hustling backwards into her Gucci bag.


A real woman ain’t your mother and she doesn’t owe you unconditional love, so don’t expect it. By the same token , you ain’t her daddy so don’t feel obligated to meet her every need.

Real ride or die love has nothing to do with one person exploiting another. It’s about two people valuing each other for who they are and not for what they look like  or what they can do for you monetarily. Beauty fades , money comes and goes, so choose wisely.

common sense.

What It comes down to  is simply treating another person how you want to be treated and accepting nothing less in return . If you can’t do that , then you need to go sit your ass down somewhere until you grow the hell up.

You can never get conned by saying no and you can’t be pimped unless you’re  willing to ho.



























One thought on “The Paradise of Sorrows”

  1. First, I wanna say I’m counting down the days until you become a LA TIMES best seller. I had to grab a glass and have some Seagrams after reading this topic. It felt like I was on that 105 East exiting Atlantic blvd after my 3rd glass. According to Cornel West, The dilemma of the black intellectual female and male still rocks our society today. Each day I find more things wrong with this world because foolishness and trickery is imbedded deep down in our culture. We continue to fall on our faces and sell our souls for the same things: a big ass, gold chains, and Ciroq will get our parties started on a Friday evening after leaving our 7 dollar an hour jobs.

    Unfortionately, our kids continue to be products of parents “just having fun”. This increasing shift sickens me because these kids are on a one way trip to excuse-land their whole life. You can’t blame them for standing infront of the judge making excuses for being an accessory to a burglary they took part in on 123rd and Main. As I reflect on working with kids at Foshay learning center it was quite an experience. I can recall a kid telling me his father woke him up every morning by poring malt liquor on his face. “Once these kids have out lived their usefulness you can find them filling the beds of group homes and seats in special ed. classes until they are old enough to press rewind and repeat the cycle”(kody). whew Life is coldddddd indeed. Our kids are still poster children for DPSS, Kedrin, south central regional center, and detention centers across the city. There’s still no answers for this. It’s funny you would think billion dollar programs like USC AND UCLA could fix the ills and social problems this society battles with.
    We are out here fighting for our lives to finally pay our damn bills and at least go buy our lisinopril high blood pressure medicine from CVS to stop from feeling dizzy. I know I sound bipolar and all over the place but damn it that’s how this world feels it’s breeding grounds for this shit. We as people go through so much we use Hennessy as our sleeping pill to get some rest and we need psalms 23, Benson & Hedges, and king cobra to wake us up.

    What happen to the days where sistas would settle for a date to slauson swap meet to buy some gold bamboo earrings which spelled “I luv you”. These hoes want more now because they will no longer settle for a hot Cheetos- Cactus Cooler diet. These hoes are playing for keeps. They found out how to twerk and make a nigga make stupid decisions that cost him a lifetime of pain. This topic really stuck deep inside of me because as I reflect on my life I’ve been victim of a 7year relationship filled with drama, temptation, and betrayal. As I reflect back on what I went through I definitely took a beating, however I thank God for no baby momma drama. It’s amazing how you can see the titanic sinking and there’s nothing you can do about it. Toxicity has been running ramped in this generation and I choose to remove myself from further activities until I build a Kevlar protection around my heart. “Above all else guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it”(Proverbs 4:23).

    In the song project windows brother Nas said “there’s so many ways out the hood but no signs say out”. As I think deeper my suspicion rises that people indeed have hidden motives to lie, steal, and destroy. The only way to beat this common phenomenon is to educate, pray, and love with your mind not your heart.

    Best Wishes, love not

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